hm...

So this summer is going by quite nicely. It's nice to relax and enjoy myself after the school year and having some downtime. Last Saturday was Rillo's graduation party. It was fun! It was nice to see some APO peops. Good food, nice times, watching in amusement of drunk people doing kareoke and then walking away so to not get wrapped in the chaos, a good conversation with Reeta, seeing Biggie and Frank. I probably wouldn've enjoyed it better if my chest wasn't feeling wierd, but it was still fun. Tomorrow is Lindsay's party! Woo-hoo!

Lately I've just been thinking about a number of things in my life and where I'm going and what not. Sometimes I wonder what exactly I'm doing with myself and where I'm going. I could be partly the fact that I'm not working and maybe getting antsy in addition to having a lot of time for myself. My summer program thing doesn't start until mid-ish July, if mid-ish is a word. I look around me and it seems like everyone around my age are doing something, working somewhere and setting themselves up financially. My mom is just telling me, oh, don't worry about. You don't have to work, just sit back, relax, do nothing. It is nice though, but I kind of sort of want to do something. I'm not complaining because it could always be worse. Sometimes I find jobs I could do, but I don't have a way of getting there. Boo : ( I've started looking at grad schools lately, and that also looks "boo : ( ". I don't know where I'm going to end up, and some of the programs I've been looking at look really competitive. I still have some time though to raise my GPA and build up more things on my resume, so not all hope is lost, but I have my work cut out for me and I need to focus even more. I also started thinking about things around the end of the school year, and trying to figure out what "living it up" is. Is it having a grand time and partying it out? Is it doing everything you want to do in your life? I have enjoyed some of college so far, but I feel like there is more out there for me to experience. I just don't want to leave here with any regrets, wishing I had done this or that or done more. I don't know. The other day, I made a list of things I want to do before I graduate, and maybe I'll make a list of things I want to do in life. Perhaps I'm being too idealistic. Or perhaps it's time for me to sieze the day. Carpe diem. Well, I don't know. I just hope to enjoy this summer and everything else. I'm still deciding whether or not to commute or live during the summmer thing. We'll see. Maybe I'm worrying too much. Maybe I should do something. Maybe it's not that bad. I just hope everything works out ok with alot of the stuff I've been thinking aobut.